Just for Laughs

I tried to trick the boys for April Fools Day only for Ethan to inform me that it was March 31st, NOT April 1st.  Haha.

God is Bigger Than the Air I Breathe...

I got through the week just fine only for Friday to come and then I hit a slump of depression.  Two weeks down, now how many more to go?  Ugh, I don't want to do this anymore.  I enjoy family time, but being at home all together 24/7 makes me feel a little claustrophobic.  Thankfully by Sunday, I realized the need to be alone so I decided to go for a walk BY MYSELF and journal my thoughts.  That helped a lot and I returned home more sane.  That afternoon we took advantage of the beautiful weather and headed to the Great Falls for a hike.  Another needed breathe of fresh air!

Here is our Monday morning STEM activity:

Then this afternoon I took the boys to pick up miscellaneous trash at our HOA tennis court and the school playground.  They biked there and then walked around - got out, got their exercise, enjoyed the day and now we have a cleaner school.  That's a win-win in my book!  And all that was inspired by Ethan and Gavin's lead effort (with Brian's help) in clearing a gigantic log and unclogging our neighborhood streams a few days prior.  Way to make it happen, Billman Boys!

Unfortunately, we got home to learn that Virginia is now under the "stay-at-home" order as of April 1st.  I tried not to panic, but it sure was another blow to my already downcast spirit.  The Holy Spirit brought this song to mind and I just let the Truth of it washed over me.

I can't perfectly keep my eyes on the Lord everything single moment, but I don't know if He's asking me to.  What I'm doing though (or at least trying) is to continually coming back to His Truth and clinging onto those promises!

Centreville Elementary School Virtual Spirit Week

Pictures that we sent in:

Reading Day

PJ Day

Sports Day

CES Day

...Thriving

I remembered a friend who was homeschooling her children (at the time) sharing that homeschooling isn't about school but actually learning to love each other while being together 24/7.  And that isn't easy.  How true is that right now.  I'm surrendering to how God wants to use me in this very unique opportunity to disciple our boys in ways I wouldn't have otherwise.

This is what we've been doing lately:
-a devotion every morning with the boys and memorizing scriptures together
-learning life skills (how to use a knife, prepare our own lunch, cooking and baking, etc.)
-thinking of ways to serve others (making cards for the elderly)
-finally got a Facebook account so the boys can virtually connect with events happening at school (like FB Live reading)
-letting the boys figure things out on their own without swooping in too soon...even if it means they fail
-virtually meeting through Zoom for church, small group, and BSF
-working on loving/guiding them instead of over disciplining (especially when it isn't necessary)
-working on being flexible to what is working and what isn't and adapting each day
-truly relying on God's strength
-blogging again =0)

Surviving vs...

We made it through the first week at home and even though it was triumphant, I felt mentally done in.  The only analogy I could come up with to this whole situation relates to running which is ironic because I hate running.  Okay, here it is: we did a mile "sprint" (week 1) thinking we made it, then only to realize that there's 3 more miles (weeks) to go.  I'm out of gas with a realizing that perhaps I should have been "jogging" instead.  I was in a funk that I could not get out of all weekend!  This is going to be a marathon.

Monday came and I had a mental mind shift.  Okay, jogging...we got this!  But then at the end of the day, the announcement came: all schools in Virginia are closing until the end of the year.  I was devastated!  I heard it on the radio while driving home and I just cried right then and there.  I knew it was inevitable, but it was crushing to hear all the same.

I woke up at 4am this morning filled with anxieties - like a quick sand that enveloped my mind, my body, my heart.  I knew I had to get out of bed.  So I came downstairs and started reading through Psalms upon Psalms upon Psalms.  Those words came alive and comforted me - I needed to know that God is in control and that He's got this!  Eventually peace came over me and I was able to go back to bed.

Encouraging words from 40 Days to Easter devotion:
"When we grieve, we do not grieve like the world does; we grieve with hope, knowing that God is often revealed most clearly in the midst of our trials." Day 10

"I am learning to view my circumstances and challenges in this life with courage, knowing that you have my destiny in your hands.  My confidence is in your promises.  I know that my future is secure in you." Day 11

Happy St. Patrick's Day

We celebrated in the morning with a fun "Find the Shamrocks" around the house.  Then ended the day with sipping on McDonald's Shamrock Shake sitting on the porch.

And can't forget it is also our 8th year Anniversary of moving to Virginia!  I can't believe we've been living here longer than in Iowa now.

It's the End of the World As We Know It...

...and I feel fine. -R.E.M

Well not really, but here I am blogging again because time at home is all I've got...lots and lots of it.

I woke up on Friday the 13th only to be informed by Brian that school is cancelled.  What?!  Really?! Talking about things changing quickly!  The night before, we were informed by FCPS that schools will not be closed.  But by the next morning, they decided otherwise.  Schools in the surrounding counties are closed, surely we can't be the only ones open.  I'm sure lots of parents weren't happy about that and made their voices known.  I found myself online reading all kinds of articles trying to get an understanding of what's happening right now.  Instead of feeling informed, I felt overwhelmed!  I decided I need to stop reading!  Monday was already a scheduled teacher's work day for teachers to come together and figure out some sort of plan for online learning.  Not surprisingly, that was cancelled as well.  Instead it was changed to a day where students can come and pick up their stuff, which I was excited about...at least the boys can see some of their friends.  But sure enough that was cancelled and no one was allowed to enter the school.  Slowly places are beginning to close - church...library...movie theaters...gym and I find my heart literally palpitating as I panicked.  I'm not going to make it if we can't get out to places!  I am not a homebody.  Not.at.all. 

Thankfully, we were able to do Facebook Live for church and our pastor reminded us to look beyond the current circumstances and to realize now is a perfect time to reach out to others and share the Good News.  When we put our hope and trust in Jesus, there is nothing to fear.  I was reminded of two verses:

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." Hebrews 12:2

I was also reminded that we are in a very unique, pivotal "...for such a time as this" Esther 4:14 moment that we are called to be the Light of the World and be bold not only in showing others God's love, but also His Truth.

I was feeling an urgent desire to help families in our school that might be in need.  Although I don't know what the needs are I decided to reach out to our school principal to see if he is aware of any - whether it be gift cards for grocery or gas.  However, with that desire also came fear.  What if the needs go beyond sacrificial or God is asking me to go beyond my comfort?  Would I still be willing to help?  Uh, maybe...In that moment, my heart hesitated.  And my selfishness and idol of comfort became apparent.  Gift cards are easy.  Getting involved in someone else's life isn't.  It can be messy.  But it's also a good way to be a witness for Christ.  Anyway, I'm still wrestling with this and being willing to be available should a need arise, but so far there isn't anything.  Yet.

So the boys and I are taking it one day at a time.  A friend shared a COVID-19 Schedule which is such a great idea.  I tweaked it a little and made it our own and so now the boys are on some sort of schedule, which makes the day a lot smoother.  The school has emailed quite a bit of resources which is super helpful and I'm just taking a laid back approach to this.  Never in a million years did I think I would be "homeschooling" our children.  But so far, so good. 

I also jokingly told Brian that he should be thankful I'm unemployed.  But seriously though, it is honestly a blessing in disguise.  I couldn't figure out what God had planned for me as I kept getting one rejection email after another.  Now I know.  And now job applications are on hold for a while and for that, I'm not complaining.