Thoughts

So many things going on lately and so many thoughts going through my head, I feel like I need to sit down and blog.

First things first, the weather is warming up and the snow is melting rapidly. That's always a spirit-lifter. We've gone on family walks 3 consecutive days and I know Kaika is a happier dog because of that. He tried to lay out on the deck yesterday and realized that maybe it's not all that warm quite just yet. Soon enough though. Ethan, of course, loved the puddles. What is it with boys and puddles?

We had a really nice Valentine's weekend celebration. Friday, we had a family outting and went to River Music Experience for some music. Followed by drinks and dessert at Symposium. And let me tell you, Ethan REALLY enjoyed his strawberry shake. I had to let go and just enjoy the night considering I'm such a stickler when it comes to Ethan's sugar and sweets intake (especially right before bedtime). Saturday, Brian and I got a sitter and went out to dinner. It was SO nice to be able to talk and reconnect again as a couple since I've been sick forever and Brian just got over his cold. I really hated sleeping in separate rooms and running on surviver mode. Yesterday, we had a nice candle lit dinner at home although Ethan kept asking to blow them out before we even ate. What a funny kid!

Ethan, some days, are more resillient than others. Not sure if time outs (for hitting) are working as efficiently as before, but I don't know what else to do. There are a lot of "No's" but also a lot of "Thank you Mamma" and hugs and kisses that make me smile. Bed times get really strung out because he doesn't seem to EVER want to go to bed. Right now, he's eating A LOT! We would have breakfast, then 2nd breakfast and then snack. Not much lunch, then more snacks after nap up until dinner. We have to bribe him to eat dinner, then more snacks up until bed time. I feel like I'm constantly feeding him so I try to do healthier stuff like fruit. But he's always asking for sugary cereals and cookies. Ai yai yai!

My Tuesday women's bible study is going extremely well and actually life changing. I'm learning so many truths I want for my life that it has been a little overwhelming. So I'm just trying to take one application at a time. The most recent revelation is learning that I'm a woman of God, first and foremost and then a wife and a mother. To some, this might not be a huge "Ah" moment, but to me it was!!!. As I search for my identity, happiness and joy (after kid), I realized that it has to come from God. He is the only one who could completely fulfill that in my life. My womanhood is a distinctive calling to display "the glory of His Son." And what that looks like is through my roles as a wife and a mother, which ultimately points back to God. It isn't about me. It never has been. Anyway, that understanding has freed me and given me peace as I find joy and honor in taking care of my family and even being at home because it's a priviledge instead of a task. The verse Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" has also taken a different meaning for me. Desires of your heart is so much more than just having a husband or kids which will someday perish. But it's about God giving you the desires to do what pleases Him and glorifies Him because again all that points back to God who is eternal forever and ever.