God My Hero

So, Brian's work load hasn't really lighten at all.  We're only three months into 2015, but I feel like it has been the longest year ever!  But despite the unchanging situation, God has been working on my heart and attitudes towards this whole thing. 

When difficulties and hardship come, I have this tendency to complain and wish that I didn't have to go through them.  Because frankly they're not fun.  I also have this tendency to rely on God until my husband appears on the scene again to rescue us all.  Then I subconsciously let God knows that I'm good and He can go ahead and take a break.  But because of this craziness, I've been forced to COMPLETELY rely on God for the long haul and that is actually a good thing.  I'm learning to make God my Rock each day and everyday which He should be in the first place.  And because of this:

• I'm subconsciously lifting my burden upon Brian to meet all my needs that usually comes with spoken/unspoken expectations and ends with dissatisfaction.  Through all of this, God has really taken me by surprise and satisfying my soul far more than my humanly husband ever could.
• I'm able to step it up more in the "home" department without expecting Brian's help because after all it is my job.  
• I'm able to take my eyes off of myself and instead of asking, "How can you serve me?" or have the "You owe me" attitude (once Brian's longer busy) to asking, "How else can I serve you?"  Because guess what?  He's tired, discouraged, feeling anxious and super burnt out at work too.  In my often human, selfishness that is not always what goes through my mind at the end of a long day with the boys.  Last night, God gave me the opportunity to bless Brian by offering to put Gavin to bed which he usually does.  So I did - even with a joyful heart!  So thankful God fueled me & encouraged me enough these past two days with Gavin that he has been a joy to be around.