Emotional Wreck

We've often joked about Kaika needing to shape up or we're going to ship him out. But yesterday Brian and I really talked and contemplated about the possibility of giving him away before moving to VA. There are so many factors including another baby on the way which means he'll be even more neglected, trying to find housing out there that would accommodate a dog, cost of boarding, etc. Anyway, Brian decided to put him on craigslist just to see what happened and by this morning, there were 3 inquiries (as of tonight 5). The thought of it actually happening made us both sick to our stomach. I mean he's our dog, a family member really and I just feel so irresponsible for not being able to take care of his needs.  Anyway, we're not 100% yet on what to do, but it had been a harder process that I thought it would be.

Then our neighbor called (2 hours early) wondering where Ethan and I were since she was supposed to watch him for my OB appointment. This is the 3rd time she has been "confused" with what day and what time we had talked about. Anyway, we think that she has an early stages of dementia and decided it's best not to have her come over anymore...let alone be our go-to, in-the-middle-of-the-night person when the baby comes.

On top of that, I also have this sudden and unexplained toothache that has gotten worse and worse. It's not cavity or nerves, which kinda stumped the dentist a little bit.  Pregnancy related?  Who knows!

So with all of that on my mind, I headed to my OB appointment only to have the baby's heart rates spiked high. My midwife was supposed to recheck the nurse's measurement, but she didn't and so I left not thinking much about it. I went to pick up Ethan at a friend's house, got home for lunch and then got a phone call from the midwife's office that I needed to come back in TODAY for a recheck. I thought you gotta be kidding, right?! By that point, I had a major break down and thankfully, Brian's afternoon meeting was cancelled so he could come home to take care of Ethan. The second measurements turned out just fine. Not sure because of anxiety that morning or because that first nurse was new. But oh did I let them know I was not pleased about having to drive across the river again and Brian having to take off from work! I ended up taking a nice, long bath tonight just to relax and clear my head from all that is happening. Don't think I can handle anymore...so baby don't come just yet!